apa salah nya?

currently listening to pyramid song from charish feat iyaz (its been awhile yo)

pemirsa!
apa khabar anda semua?
harap semua nya baik-baik saja ok?
for this time entry i would want to talk about one song entitle
hargai aku from armanda band
pemirsa sekalian sudah mendengar lagu tersebut?
bagi yang sudah tahniah buat diri anda krn berani mendengar lagu yg
penuh pengajaran itu :)
bagi yang belum cepat-cepat dengar kan lagu tersebut ok?
mengisahkan tentang hidup kita,
apa yang berlaku dlm kehidupan seharian,
apa yang kita lakukan & lihat,
menggambarkan siapa diri kita yang sebenarnya,
korus lagu tersebut sangat menyentuh hati saya, tersebut lah
"apa salah nya hargai diri ku sebelum kau nilai kurang nya diri ku"
swear to god, lagu ini best sangat"
lagu begini lah yg seharusnya di karya oleh artis" kita,
tak kan negara seberang saja boleh buat lagu mantap kan?
i support malaysian music industry hehe ada gik ko tiff,
ok now im listening to my husband playing keybord
nyanyi" lagu ombak rindu. apa kehe suami i ni? jiwang mlm" haha
while fb ing with deedeeth juak.
me dh masak nasi jak tek, lauk belum masak gik >.<
hahaha isteri apakah ini? alright readers semua,
saya off dulu. perlu memasak lah :)
take care aight?

just saying it

lihat lah ikan itu, biarpun ia diam bukan bererti ia tak berenang. begitu juga manusia, di sangka diam & tak melawan jangan di anggap tidak berdaya

pelajaran untuk hari ini,
kenapa? kerana ini lah yang saya pelajari untuk hari ini.
kenapa ya manusia sering menganggap org yang lemah itu tidak mampu melawan?
org yang berdiam diri bukan bererti dia bisu,
bukan bererti dia lemah & tak mampu,
mungkin saja dia melihat sesuatu itu dari segi yang berbeza.
adakalanya kita perlu belajar untuk terus bersabar,
walaupun dalam hati hanya tuhan yang tahu.
sekiranya kita sangat marah & tak mampu utk menahan marah itu,
bangkit lah. keluar untuk menghirup udara luar,
yang mungkin menenangkan jiwa,
perasaan marah kalau terus di layan,
akhirnya akan menyakiti kita juga.
sebaik nya apabila kita marah,
tarik nafas sedalam yang mampu.
elak kan dari terus bercakap.
in god's will, kita akan mengelakkan dari memburuk kan lagi keadaan yang sedia buruk.
life is all about karma,
always remember that :)

mendua

maafkan aku yang menduakan mu
mencintai dia di belakang kamu (currently this is my facvorite song) :)

was so agry just now with the husband
i was sleeping and he keep on disturbing me
apa lagi me kan
marah sgt" until wanna sleep also tak jadi
straight pegi dapur & cooking
hahaha so funny isnt?
how many months since my last post diary?
i bet u miss me,
and awww i miss you too :)
thank you for always be there,
eventhough i might not coming back to write here
soon
alright, hows life? fine. study? fine. marriage? fine.
everything seems in the right place now.
just that i always not feeling well,
damn u heart. i hate u whenever u become trouble maker
pls get well will you?
im begging u :(

first of 2012

hey hoo!
how is everybody doing?
i'm great for sure :)
just that bloogie isn't my priority now,
i was so busy with welcoming 2012
as the year of 2011 isn't that bad and yet isn't that good

miss the old times that we shared together

whats up diaries? its been awhile i abandon you
hope you are doing fine yea?
hows my life?
abnormal. is that how its should be?
seriously? im missing home.
missing home so much.
counting days to get back.
hug my mom and have a coffee with grandma,
teasing my sister.
miss the smell of my bed,
miss the house surrounding everytime during dinner.
miss to hang and deco the christmas tree.
sigh...........
i wanna go home :(

19.11.11

that's the date to remember,

10 months together as a spouse,

i have big question inside my mind,

am i fat?

if the answer is yes, 

what is wrong for being fat?

does that against the law?

according to who?

i have feelings too.

you have no right to bring me down.

fat is still human.

i dont see anything wrong with that.

tell me,

why do i have to please you all the time?

it always me to keep quiet most of the time,

isn't that SHIT?

i mean big shit!

if you can't love someone for who they are,

pack all your things and

WALK AWAY!

the ex's

seriously? i dont feels like letting all of this out.
but i just cant keep it inside,
seriously i cant,
when he keeps talking about this girl,
that willing to change her religion,
because of him,
and he keeps telling the whole world about how proud he feels,
don't u think this is such a story to tells?
i mean, ur stuff with ur ex is so not my problem,
but it u were too happy telling people about it,
again & again, that is my problem.
fucking shit with her if u wanted too.
but pls never ever talk about her, in front of me.
cause im pretty sure, u'll not like it if i do the same things towards you.
and pls, when i talk, u listen. not scream back at me.
lanchau.

its extremely cold here

the cold weather affect my day,
or is it affecting everyone's day?
today, i think is the day where i need my loved ones the most,
husband, family, friends,
i try to mend this thing,
seriously i tried so hard,
but one by one, people around me,
neglect me,
im asking myself,
what have i done?
why can't they listen to me?
even for this time, only this time,
called mom, and after a few sentence, she cut off the conversation,
then at home with the hubby, same things happen,
text aunty jenny, with hope she'll call me,
but nobody did it.. nobody there for me,
haih...

i hate to leave this way

after one week and 2 days time in my born city, i have to leave again. good bye always be the hardest things to do. especially when the ur loved ones have to see u walk and u try not to turn ur head back & watch them. im sitting alone in the airport now and i gotta admit this though it pain me to say this out, i miss my little sister whole lot already this moment. i saw she cried just now where i try my very best not to cry with her, because she'll feel even more sad if she saw me cry. but u know what diary? she's my strength and most of the time, she's like my elder sister to me ebenthough he's not. and yet im still lingering here. thinking about should i have something to eat? but i just had my heavy breakfast just now. i feel kinda sleepy too. sigh* this moment, i keep thinking where my husband is. today is saturday, is he at home when i reach home later? i ask too many question that might burden me this moment :( god, bless me & my journey today lord. amen!

i wish i can dance with you dad...

are this dream of mine will come true?

im asking you daddy,

we never had the chance to spend a day together,

how sad is that?

i miss you dad,

altho i dont know much about you :(

aku rindu kan rumah mu ya bapa

di saat badai bergelora,

ku akan terbang bersama Mu, 

Bapa kau raja atas semesta,

ku tenang sebab kau Allah ku :)

its me again

dear diary, how's life? how are you?

i got something to share with you this moment,

i've been suffering from sleeping disorder recently,

i gotta admit, this is killing me inside,

i got severe headache, i started to hate everything sourround me,

what happened?

i got no answer for that question,

what makes this things exist?

i got no idea too,

i can hear the sound of my heart beat this moment,

i can feel that the eyebags are appear and its getting dark,

am i the walking monster now?

or am i still human that dont need to sleep,

or did i turn to vampire?

sigh......

i feel so disappointed with life,

how could it be so mean,

god, teach me on how to forgive the one who make me this way,

teach me lord.

i hope & i pray 

that i will not hate you for all this mess,

stop this pain will you?

airbone

my hubby hunny bee is going for his air bone starting today,

he isn't in the pic, so no worries ok?

 this is what he'll have on top of his uniform, upper left

today is the day that we've waiting for, 

the day where he need to walk away from home for awhile,

going to finish what he had start for 3 weeks back,

he left this morning, he look so calm,

and i knew he was calm in his heart too,

cause i did not sleep at all for the whole night,

i just listen to the sounds that he makes while he's asleep,

his heart beat in one single rhytm,

thats shows his vital signs are normal,

guess, im too worried here right?

i think to much, and i think over & over again,

silly me hehe maybe i'm thinking about the feelings,

to be left at home, alone, and it happens most of the times,

guess this is the challenge to be an army wives hehe,

behind one strong army who protect our country,

leave a stronger women who always be left behind,

and not tired with her waits all the time :)

guess i am one of those stronger women ehehehehehe,

ok lah... i gotta go now, still got few stuff need to be clean,

so with my eyes, the eyebag are getting worst,

but the problem is i just cant sleep.

hmmmm ok, see u again :) tata

hungry VS lazy

have this things ever come across you?
this happen to me most of the time,
im hungry, but im lazy,
in your opinion, which one will u go for?
if you choose hungry, means u won over lazy,
this is a confession of mine,
there are sometimes i let lazy won,
that is because, i still can stand the hungry-ness :p
but there are times gastric attack, i rather wake up from my
bed and find something to eat, guess its too late ha?
but in the same time, i want to reduce weight,
because i think im fat,
but according to BMI, im listed in ideal category,
YAY~ unbelieveable ho? hahaha
so, thats all for today :)
actually im not in a good mood, haih,
i just want to cheer myself up :)

She's going for her National Service soooooonnnnn :)

 Dear sister Gracie Jane :)

Showing off her Braces lah tu... Lol!

Coming week, she'll attend her national service programs which she is chosen to be in Sg. Rait Miri,

I wonder, why she gets that near to our place? Hahaha mean sister huh?

Back few months I always pray that she'll be off from Sarawak.

This is because I really wanted her to grow up, don't be that small girl to mom,

No matter what, all I want is the best of her, and wish all her best,

Pray that she'll go safely, going thru all the activities safely, and coming home safely,

May she make friends with everyone and no complaining bout the place and the people :)

I'm so sure that mom is going to miss her so much cause she'll be alone at home HAHA

Oh come on mom! You gotta let her grow, someday she's gonna leave you and further her studies,

So to dear mommy, pls don't be sad ok? It only takes 3 months mom..

Dear my Geloong, my Gewl, my Gunjing, take care of yourself there and pls give me a call once a week at least.. Will you? Cause I will be waiting for your call that's for sure..

Don't forget to bring along the insect repellent, active fast paracetamol, vicks, extra long sleeves..

Give mom a call if you need something.. Be good there will you?

My prayer and thoughts are always with you, Don't forget to pray too ok?

 I LOVE YOU MY ONE AND ONLY SISTER :)

Life is just temporary..

we never know when is our time leaving this world,
we never will, are you ready? cause i'm not.
this might sounds silly, but i admit im not ready for this,
I've sins a lot towards people that cared bout me,
I havent got the chance to say sorry to those that i've hurt,
there are so many things that I wish to tell my loved ones,
especially to my mom, to my grand ma...
I'm so sorry family, for being so selfish,
OH GOD! what had happen to me?
I dont even recognize myself....
who am I? why i had change this much?
what turn me become one bad and mean evil?
why tiffany why? why? why?
I keep asking and blaming myself for this,
and when its too much sometimes,
I feels like dying... If only i can die twice,
I'll do it now, I'll give it a shot this moment,
what am I thinking? Thinking bout suicide again?
GOSH! I am so stupid!
I am so angry, and I just hate myself for all this mess!

Broken Hearted Girl~

You're everything I thought you never were
Ain't nothing like a thought could have been
Still, you live inside of me
So tell me how is that
You're the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I love to not forgive
And though you break my heart
You're the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
'Cause I can't erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I'll be there
At the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don't wanna love you
In no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But untill now I've always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/beyonce/broken_hearted_girl.html ]
You say you got the most respect for me but
Sometimes I feel you're not deserved of me
And still you're in my heart
But you're the only one

And yes, there are times when I hate you
But I don't complain
'Cause I've been afraid that
You would walk away

Oh but now I don't hate you
I'm happy to say
That I will be there
At the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don't wanna love you
In no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl

Now I met a place I thought I'd never be, oh
I'm living in a world whereas all about you and me, yeah
And I won't be afraid, my broken heart as free
To spread my wings and fly away, away with you

I don't wanna be without my baby
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without my babe
Don't wanna take a breath without my babe

Hubby I'm missing you~

Last Thursday morning, the hubby left the house,
It's 8am, and he refuse when I offer to make breakfast for him,
He seems rushing, guess he stay up till late watching the TV shows,
I slept earlier, cause I just arrived home from Kl,
What a very tired journey, Its raining heavily on my way back,
Keep say a prayer in the bus that moment,
After dinner, I was lying down, Can't even remember what time did I fall asleep,
So I'm alone in this house now, counting the day and waiting for him be back home,
Keep making myself busy, and still I miss him,
Dear love, pls come back home safely...
I miss you :(

My Green Berets :)

fighting soldiers from the sky,
fearless men who jump and die,
men who mean just what they say,
the brave men of the green berets.

silver wings upon their chest,
these are men, America's best,
one hundred men, will test today,
but only three, win the green berets,

trained to live off nature's lanf,
trained and combat, hand to hand,
men who fight by night and day,
courage peak from the green berets.

back at home a young wife waits,
her green berets has met his fate,
he has died for those oppressed,
leaving her his last request.

put silver wings on my son's chest,
make him one of America's best,
he'll be a man they'll test one day,
have him win the green berets.

PLS: this are the inspiration

its been awhile..

its been awhile i did not write,
its been awhile ya blog?
im sorry, for i was quite busy recently,
life? one word, GREAT! hehehe
so many good things happened in my life recently,
time goes so fast, everyday is such a bless,
been eating a lot recently,
enjoying my weekend, so far so good,
hows the new life?
one word, AWESOME! the hubby is really2 sweet,
buy the house stuff alone, im sorry dear, i got class everyday,
kinda excited, cause im going back to see him tomorrow,
directly after class, YAY! really miss him..
dear dear, i miss u!

need u now..

not feeling well this moment,
fever + flu attack,
what else can i do,
kak june & the bestie here, jaja, teha & diba,
is really treat me good, keep forcing me to eat medi,
but im so stubborn, only kakak june manage to force me to
swallow the medicine :p sayang kakak june! :)
these few days, i feel so lonely..
i just gotta admit it..
the boyfie, is always busy,
things is so different compare to previously,
sometimes i forgot that my heart belong to him,
the gap that exist between us is like getting bigger,
the wall that we once bulid together is like tumbling,
feel so sad, i admit it that i do feel sad,
whenever i feel i really need him,
he is too busy to care,
less sweet talk, less 3 words, less care bout each other's feelings,
whats happening? im so tired living life like this,
i got so many things that i would like to tell you,
really feels need ur attention and pampered me,
:( broken hearted. im sorry i just have to write it here.

im so down!

bye bye 2010 :)

finally, its the last day for the year 2010,
and im still here, still alive, still holding tight,
cant believe its the end of this year,
time move so fast, one thins that are for sure,
Tiffany Cherida Jeffrey is still here,
here i would like to make a summary for this 2010 year,
i can says that this 2010 is such a sad year for me,
everything is like so not right,
broken hearted, disappointed, betrayed,
most of it are sad, but not everything.
the hubby always makes me feel happy,
although sometimes he do make me sad,
im glad that we are still holding strong to each other,

 i met new friends here, those that color my day most of the time,
what a blessed i found here, i hope that we'll always be good friends forever babes,

adibah surprise birthday party :) wee~

mis jaja & me :)

miss teha & me, cendol pulut time! :)

mis adibah :)

mis fatiha :)

me & pretty jaja :)

this is my new chapter of my life,
a new year to discover,
im glad, the girls in the pictures above,
will always be with me, girl, lets study hard together,
we've just know each other for less than a month, but feels like
i've know all of u for more than a years! haha
one word, LOVE all of u so much! :)

its ur birthday sweetheart! :)

Just for you hubby darling! :)

Happy Birthday to you Hubby~

  Im gonna sing this song, and its specially sing for ya,
here it goes, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to my George Libau,
Happy birthday to you =D

Dear hubby, its your 23rd, and thanks be to GOD for his bless to you, to us,
that we are still be together this moment, you were so busy on ur birthday today,
but thats ok.. i understand it.. how i wish i am there to celebrate your birthday with you,
having a sea side view, while eating junk food together, is more than enough,
im sorry darling, i wasn't home on your big day, i owe u big hug :)
me myself wonder, when can i go back and see u, really miss u today,
12 days to go, i am so double triple excited for the day,
but.... will u make it? after all the good plans, and if u were not able to make it,
i will put myself in the position to understand it, dont force urself too hard yayang,
back to the topic, i pray that every single things u do, u will find success in it,
i pray that everywhere u go, u will always be blessed,
i pray that no matte who you be with, God will always look after you,
i pray that all your wishes will come true and your prayer will be answered,
i pray for you, i will always do :)
many happy return darling..
enjoy ur birthday ya, your cinta will always love u.
once again, happy sweet 23rd hubby.

i love you with whole my heart 

sweet escape~

hey Christmas, finally u are here,
again, im celebrating my christmas with the love, hubby..
its been 2 years :)
thanks be to GOD, for this loved for us,
that makes us still holding on.
spending one week with my love hubb,
finally its time to go..
guess will see him in 3 weeks time..
3 week?! i think i can die~
huhuhu wonder how am I going to make it thru..
dear hubby, thanks for everything..


i love u, and i always do.

Oh Christmas Tree

today, i went out with my girls,

jaja, diba, teha & dila..

went out for shopping a little while,

eat then go home,

bad weather here when we going out,

thank god everything goes so smooth when we going back,

received a call from someone,

feels so happy.. i mean it..

really miss that someone recently,

im so sorry :(

i shouldn't feel this way..

xmas tree, i miss u so much~

im sorry

i should have leave that place with full of pride,
should have leave with honor and respect,
but then i know i have made such a stupid mistakes,
im so sorry pal, im so sorry,
if only i could turn back time,
i will.. im sorry.. so sorry..
i am so sorry :(

let it snow :)

Christmas, isn't Christmas,
Till it happen in your heart,
Somewhere, deep inside of u,
Is where Christmat really start..

Just cant wait for Christmas,
Although I will be away from family,
How sad is that :(
But thats ok.. study is still study,
Hopefully next year I can celeb it with family,
But I never lose hope,
Miracle happens when u believe :)
You go Tiffy girl!

*its christmas in my heart*

Piss Off.

I forgot when was the last time we talk nicely to each other,
I forgot when was the last time I call you Hubby,
I forgot when was the last time we talk on the phones for hours,
I forgot when was my last time melt for your words,
I forgot & totally forgot.

Hush baby, speak to me soflty, make me listen,
Cause no matter how many days we quarrel,
We will always have each other back,
That is what it should be, remember?
Now, everything seems so blurry,
I feels like wanna tell you everything,
And be sorry, but Im not sure,
So not sure, cause I know u'll choose not to listen,
They are my friends, my close friends,
They are like apart of me, exactly like u are apart of me too,
I try to balance everything, try to be fair enough,
To all parties, this is so not ok,
But I will not try to let it all out,
You know how good am I in keeping it all inside,
You should be the mirror to me,
But somehow, we couldn't make things our way everytime,
If this is meant to be, I will just let it be.

together, we move mountains, lets not make mountains out of molehills.

down.

dear diary,
im kinda upset this moment..
hubby la, sapa lagik..
my 21 birthday is just around the corner,
& i ask for new phone,
he dont want get me one,
nvmd la.. it means so much to me actually,
not just because of one stupid phone,
but its my birthday..
i should get what i want..
but? hmm nvmd la..
:( once im working, i will get myself one..
not iphone 4g for sure,
who knows 8G leh hehhee
cheer up tiffy girl!

one sweet day :)

 Ms Tiffany Cherida Jeffrey

 with her bestie Ms Amelia Tang

 US again, wish my another Bestie Ivy Liaw is in the pic with us :(

 Capture with Love, Hug & Kisses :)

Yes im in Myy currently for my study week, only one week,

Im around from Nov the 12, until Nov the 21, wish i could extend the hols for another 1 months,

can i? :p I know its impossible, thats why i ask :) Now is Wed, holy no, 4 days left,

Really hate it when I really want to stay, and be with my loved ones, but somehow I cant make it,

Really have a great time with my family & friends, I have no words on how to express my feelings out,

just can show it out by hugging, holding, saying sweet words and stay close to them.. Thank be to God for

sending me this wonderful people.. Really appreciate them all, eventhough sometimes things might not work according to plan, somehow i still feels Thankful enough.. Thank u Lord :) Hope this friendship and this family foster will remain close forever & ur blessed always be with us, amen. PLS/ dear bestie Amelia Tang & Ivy Liaw i heart u girls so much! :)